** post sponsored in part by Dove Body wash
Ahhhh, the joys of pregnancy!
Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful miraculous experience (blah, blah) but it would be a disservice to not be honest about it all! As a second time mom, I thought I would have it all figured out this time.WRONG! My body has not only embraced this preganancy but also betrayed me.What can I say? I'm dramatic as hell, but you should have already known this.
I am now 387 weeks into my pregnancy,and my body is OVER IT! I feel like I'm gonna reach in there in pull her out my damn self.Things started out so easy breezy with and Skai Pink.Where did it all go wrong lil girl?
My skin has been like butter, ok? I have been scarfing down chocolate chips as we type knowing my skin will be as flawless as it has been the whole pregnancy.I can be barefaced and my skin is still in glow.I swear ,all dramatics aside, my first time around I was fat faced and pimply.
Speaking of stretchmarks, (who was speaking of stretchmarks?! lol) I don't have any new ones.I have religiously been slathering my body in Bio Oil since the day I found out I was pregnant.I also keep my skin super moisturized by washing in Dove bodywash.Dove helps to keep my skin on glow this go round and soft as what I presumed my baby's bottom will be like.
Below is a rare pic of how ugly and ashy I was at 8 months pregnant with my 1st daughter.DO.NOT.JUDGE.MEEEEE.
If you show anyone this pic, I will Kill you!
Below is my fine ass now! Did I mention how fine I am? In addition to my skin glow, I have also maintained a healthy diet and exercise regimen (well I did, until a month ago).I drink a bajillion gallons of water and don't eat a lot of meat and eat a lot of fruit.I love fruit.I hope I can keep it up after the pregnancy (probably wont, I'm tragic.)
I have gained weight of course, but its literally all in the places I requested it! My booty and thigh meat is on straight BEYONCE right now! Like my cakes are so impressive.God has really blessed my lower body and for that I am eternally grateful, amen.
My top is not actually a top, but a wrap dress that I am currently to round and robust to wear solo (as of now) .I decided to pair my silver dress with gold trousers in the spirit of the new year celebration even though it was 5 days ago.Once again, DONT.JUDGE.MEEEE.
SHOP MY LOOK BELOW
Unfortunately my gold pants are sold out and I scoured the internet for a whooooolllle hour and a half looking for some similar.I get tired fast, ok?
Shop some other great metallic bottoms below, starting at $22.
I may look like a snack on the outside, but inside this baby has began to turn my digestive system into a sulfur pit.
The gas, oh God the gas!
I literally eat ice and my body turns it into rotten egg and then it explodes from my butt.This continues for about every 5 minutes of the day.I'm scared to light candles in my house because I fear an explosion is imminent.My husband is an angel with the nose of a warrior.I love you babe.
My memory stinks as bad as my butt and I literally don't have the energy or brainpower currently to even try harder.Ok, I will give you an example this post was supposed to be done and posted by Tuesday.What have I been doing all week? Procrastinating and looking for my phone which is half the time right beside me.My brain is on vacation right now apparently.Please, please pray for me.
While my face has been glowing, my nether regionals have been taking a turn...to the darkside. Confused? So am I. My ass has literally turned black. From the back of my thighs to my impressively large booty, it has turned jet black.
I was in my bathroom taking all day to get dressed as I an now a marshmallow, and my 7 year old spawn of satan says, ''Mommy why are the back of your legs and your butt so black?!''.Let's just say an altercation ensued between me and demon seed.She asked for it.She has been body shaming me since the beginning of the pregnancy.
Now that it is 0 degrees here in N.C., I have been house ridden and my feet somehow still look like they have frost bite.The bottom of my feet look like frosted flakes.They are crusty and flaky like the Pillsbury biscuits.I am combating this with Dove Exfoliating Body Wash .I am banishing winter skin and crust with Dove.So far,so good.I don't want to go into labor with my feet looking like this.
Because I pee like every 5.3 seconds and this baby is jumping on my spine, sleep is hard to come by.You cant imagine, well you probably can but still.Let me be dramatic.My fave way to catch a nap,suprisingly ASMR.What is that you ask?
An acronym for “Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.” The sole purpose of ASMR is to relax people. The ASMR community is constantly growing on Youtube.
If you are on IG, you may have seen this lady below.She calls herself the ASMR Queen or 'the pickle lady' and as strange as it may seem, I love her! Her videos really help you relax and go to sleep.I literally watch her chomp pickles and fall out on my pillow.Some people have porn and some have ASMR lol.In addition to crunching she is so visually fun! She stays with fresh nails, funky make up, and cute wigs.Yea, go ahead and judge me on this one! lol
That's Just Me!
I love fashion, the outdoors, and things on sale.