Hey y'all!! Soooooo my birthday is officially Saturday (April 15) but I am celebrating all month.I mean, isn't that what you are supposed to do?
Since I have grown quite fond of you all and you all quite fond of me ( I hope) I figured I might as well share my best and worst b-day moments.There are quite a few so strap on your wigs tight.I also advise maybe not to drink while reading.I don't want you to choke.
As for this year I have been having quite the mix of best and worst.I shot this look in the freezing cold and had to pretend it was warm. I know, I'm fake AF.I hated the first location so I yelled until I got my way and went to the beach. It was still cold and I was hungry, my fake lashes were super heavy, and even though I was cold my pits were pretty damn sweaty. I always sweat under my arms a lot like every since I had arms...and pits. I fuss through this shoot and head out to eat. The food was hella late so we got it for free (yaaaaay).
Monday I struggled through my daughters field trip long enough to have some quick moments on the beach only to rush home and finish my shitty post. Thennnnnnnn on Tuesday,I check my mail (hoping for packages only to see damn bills...over it) and almost jump in the road. Why you ask? There is a damn lizard living in my mailbox. I'm guessing he is a guard lizard, but he is a terrible one.He should be guarding against those damn bills I keep getting! So I pull up to my house and guess what I see? Two mutha flippin snakes making what seems to be 'love' or they are fighting ,all on my damn steps! I quickly debate burning the whole house and starting over or just going on a 12 week road trip. Wednesday was cool and I spilled the tea yesterday on the blog or whatever. My ear started throbbing before I went to sleep. I have seen 1 fafillion cotton balls in my house and now that I need one for my sensitive ear, they have vanished. The snakes must have got them all *shakes fist. Then today(Thursday) I get to work and my desk is covered in streamers ,balloons, and flowers. All things I deserve! I also have on a crown that says Princess. I am wearing it all day with no regrets #yolo .My mood quickly uplifts because I we are having food at work and I love free food, but my stomach is rumbling because I forgot I d.....and STOP.
I had to get these Zara pants in yellow as well.They are not as dope as the red ones only because they are thinner and I wish I had gotten then XS.I need them to be tight on my butt (I'm vain, what's new).I planned on wearing my head scarf as a tube top for this look but the way the weather was set up...nah.A quick improv proved well and more suitable.Yellow and white are always a winning combo.I chose contrasting colored accessories.I always love the way red, blue, and green uplift yellow.They really did the job here.Expect to see these at least 3 more times this summer lol.
Shop my look below
click each pic to shop
I'm gonna stop whining right here.In the middle of being overly dramatic the most exciting then happened.I was randomly checking my email and I saw an email from Zara. Like WTH?!! Someone sent me Zara gift card for my b-day! I bawled at my desk like a baby. It was from one of my blogger babes. I have never even met her but we connect on so many levels and the fact that she thought of me (here come the tears again) just means the world to me. I am really a 'its the though that counts' kinda person. Well most of the time. I'm not even gonna tell you (oh Ima tell you ) what hubs said he was gonna get me for my b-day (a damn jump rope! girl bye talmbout because I mentioned wanting one like one time 500 years ago*rolls eyes and sticks up middle finger),but I shut that and his feelings down quickly.Back to the gift card,I got off track.The fact that she thought enough about me and never has met touched me beyond belief.Every single comment I receive on the blog makes me feel, loved, understood, appreciated, and needed.Thank you all!
Shop my yellow flares below or any of the other spring and summer hues
shop my clicking the pic
Let's start with the worst first:
I was in college, kicking it with a 'nobody' kinda dude (what you youngsters of today would call a f*** boy) you know and letting him waste my time. I was at his apartment and I happened to go in the fridge and see a cake. I was like 'ummm someone is having a birthday'. My birthday was in a week and the cake was half-eaten so the celebration was clearly over . I asked him about it nonchalantly and he said the cake was for me.In my college naïveté I was somehow flattered, but was like 'For me?! Bish where? Bish how?!' I needed answers. He started getting a bit dumber and sneakier by the day.I was no dummy so at a Kappa probate, I met some guy who offered to take me out.I like free food so I was down for finessing him for a nice meal.
I went out with him and filled my gullet with Outback.We then hung out again the weekend of my birthday.Honestly, I was just trying to waste his time and finesse another meal or two.So its now Saturday night and we head to his house that he says he owns. I'm a bit impressed. We watch Vampire in Brooklyn and proceed to get down with the weed.This was probably my second time ever smoking and I was not good at it.I didn't feel loopy like everyone seems to get and so I deemed it overrated.So I fall asleep and do not give up the goods(I told yall he was only here for the 'finesse').I had the strangest dream. I was on an old porch fighting an old man for a Chik Fila biscuit on an old dirty mattress.But wait.That is not the strangest part.In the middle of getting my food fight on, I feel the most beautiful urge and release then I wake up.My first time wetting the bed was on my 19th birthday.I wake the guy, and say very meekly :
" I think something is wrong with your weed"
Worst birthday for the books. He was cool about it maybe because his weed was trash.He gave me some balling shorts (which was standard practice) and took me to my dorm, but not before his MAMA brought him new sheets for his bed. These boys aint loyal. We hung at once more because ol' f*** boy b-day cake' was still on time out but now he was pressuring me for sex. Chile please. Trash weed and an Outback does not constitute dropping the panties. I blew him off and asked him to take my dorm. He literally dropped me off on the corner across from campus like a common hooker yall. I see him one day on campus, and he yells "aye miss Peebody!".I was floored, but acted like I didn't know him. Just then God swooped down with swift justice and an officer gave him a parking ticket *laughs in Peebody. Come to find out he didn't even go to my school. I'm so glad I peed the hell out of that bed.
A lil 12th grade flashback.Sunglasses were life.
Best b-day ever: I had been married all of 6 months and suddenly my strong desire to never have kids somehow went away .I told my husband to get me pregnant and nooooow! So what seems like after trying for years (in reality a month) on April 15th 2010 I found out I was pregnant. When I got off work, hubs, my in-laws and sis -in-law were waiting in the dark to surprise me.I had a little surprise of my own and when I told them, my sister in law fell out.I only associate with people as dramatic as me. My best birthdays have always been surrounded with friends and family. The best birthday gift for me is being and feeling loved and then Zara gift cards *hint hint (jk of course).I literally have everything I need and more as I cross the threshold to being fine at 29!
Tata for now my loves.I am headed to the beach to get drunk and twerk with my besties.You may catch it on IG and the Snapchat. #turndownfowhat
That's Just Me!
I love fashion, the outdoors, and things on sale.