Special announcement: this is my official last post.I'm shutting down the blog.There is no way I can top this look, ever! This is my official goodbye guys.
I'm lying!!! Got 'eeemmmm!!! *slaps knee
Now that I got that out of the way I want to talk about something serious for a minute and that is body issues and the value of body confidence. I have struggled my whole life with body and image issues. There were many things that caused me to have these internal image stressors which included being teased by my brothers, wanting to look my like gorgeous older sister, among other things. Most of us hate our body when we are young but sometimes puberty blesses some more than others and they just blossom. Puberty was not as generous with me. As I saw my burgeoning classmates with their low cut top and low -rise jeans (everything was low in the early 2000's) I'm just in the corner hating myself for still 'passing' for 12 off kids buffet .My chest wasn't big enough(and uneven, shutup!), my stomach wasn't flat enough, my butt wasn't big enough ,my face was chubby, my hip were non existent, but I had nice calves. Let me just tell you calves are not a focal point of attention in high school. A guy never came up to me and said how attractive my calf muscle was. I always had nice thighs, but you know only being allowed to wear skirts(ugh *gags) kinda just doesn't do anything for that.I know all of this is seemingly shallow, but this is the mind of a high schooler trying hard to love herself and her body. I was able to easily mask this with by being the funny girl with the funky sense of style. Jokes and clothes were all I had, I thought.
Fast forward to college and it seemed things were turning around for me.That freshman fifteen was GOOD TO ME, OKAY!!! Even though my grade were shit I finally felt good about my body and so did everyone else *my milkshake was bringing the boys to the yard. Stomach on flat flat, a$$ on "what's that?!",you get the drift. My wardrobe was midriff, skinny jeans, bellyring, tight shorts(calves were attractive in college),and mini dresses dassit. Once again, do not judge me. I was 18 and overcoming detesting my body and being the most sheltered child (it seemed).Growing up I was only allowed to go to church , school, and work(but church first,always!).Leaving a trail of broken hearts across campus (I was terrible,I know) I met my husband the least expected of places for me, church.From whirlwind romance, marriage, and then pregnancy.I just knew I snapping back was not gonna be an issue for me.WRONG!!
My bodycon jumpsuit was purchased on www.shein.com and so was my coat.The jumpsuit(below, left) is $37 and they have free shipping.You can also get $3 off your first order! Head to the site for the details. If they don't have your size, Fashion Nova (below, far right)has the exact same jumpsuit for about $20 more.
Click each item to shop directly
I embraced being a mom, but not my new body.I was wearing a size 9, that was foreign to me. I had these new found hips, boobs, but lingering hormones left me looking like I was always wearing a black turtleneck. My neck was so damn black and so was my stomach, like WTF?! Pregnancy is overrated. I had back rolls ,my body was flabby, and those stretch marks ..those damn stretch marks. My mom and sister both had 4-5 kids and never experienced any of this not even stretch marks. I HATE THEM!! I secretly battled depression and cabin fever from being a stay at home mom, but I had to pull myself together.
I began taking charge and monitoring what I ate as well as incorporating a steady exercise regimen .While I was losing weight I still wasn't my college hottie self, but I slowly began to accept it. Fast forward 6 years and the person posing (in public) for pics here is me. I am finally comfortable taking pictures around people. I usually shoot in secluded areas.I have never been this fit in my life.I never had confidence after my daughter to wear an outfit like this without being self conscious all night. For years people would say I looked great, but it didn't truly matter until I felt it within.It is important to feel good about how you look.Your confidence,or lack thereof, can make a world of difference in how you are treated and respected in business.My confidence was hard fought , but there are some still fighting daily struggles masked behind a full beat face with 30 inch Brazilian body wave and even a plain face with a pulled back ponytail.
This is why you will not see me publically tear down another woman for her cosmetics choices , whether I agree with them or not.Lil Kim has been the target of a visual smear campaign for years. Constant allegations of bleach and her open admission of plastic surgery have overshadowed her music and iconic fashion status and this truly upsets me. Here is why. This woman has admitted her image issues. It has been reported in interviews that her 'new' image is the result of vanity and others have speculated low self-esteem from an abusive relationship with Biggie Smalls. Being in the public eye, and being a part of an industry who praises fairer skin women and certain bodies, can definitely take a toll ;in which many have fell victim to this ideal.It may be easy to point out what we see as visually unappealing or quick to yell "self hate" but the battle to love one's is not won easily for all. So I urge all my readers to understand how important self acceptance is and cease your public judgment and bashing on other's bodies.Notice I said judgment, not praise.Praise away! Photographs only show the external result of what may or may not be a reflection of the internal.
That's Just Me!
I love fashion, the outdoors, and things on sale.